Night Terror

Night Terror aka Sleep Paralysis is a very strange thing. Is it just a result of 'wacky' brain chemistry that can be easily explained away by science or is it a some sort of visitation from an unseen reality? I have my opinion, but I will keep that to myself and share my experience instead.

I just got done watching an interesting movie called 'Heartless' about a guy with a heart-shaped birth mark on his face. The devil offers to make the guy normal looking but only if the guy promises to do the devil a favor in return. Anyway, some of the themes and imagery of the movie reminded me of two things; first, I was reminded of another extremely 'scary' movie called 'Jacob's Ladder' and second, I was reminded of my experiences with sleep paralysis.

When I was a little kid, I would have really vivid nightmares and often felt like 'the boogey men' or some sort of malicious force was just beyond my peripheral vision, watching -waiting. I always slept with a baseball bat nearby. I never realized it 'til now, but I haven't changed much in that regard. Instead of a baseball bat, now its a 9MM. Before I crawl into bed every night (morning) I still feel a faint tinge of uneasiness about the vulnerability of being asleep.

Okay, before you start to think my cheese done slid of my cracker, let me tell you my story. Thirteen years ago I had a buddy that was staying at my parents house where I still lived. One night, I had had a very strange evening, I remember it very emotionally draining, and I was dead tired. My friend didn't think I would be coming home that night, so he was asleep on my bed which was an inflatable mattress. It was only slightly more comfortable than his bed, which was my parents living room couch. So I kicked him out of my bed and went to sleep. Seems like I was out before my head even hit the pillow.

Next thing I know, I was awakened by something. Actually, I wasn't sure if I was awake or if I was having a dream about my exact bedroom, in my exact bed on that exact same night. I was aware of all the details of that same day and night, and  felt 'awake' but something was very different at the same time, if that makes any sense.  I remember opening my eyes and instantly being completely overwhelmed with a feeling of shear terror.

I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air. I tried to move my body but it didn't feel connected to my conscious anymore. I was completely helpless, laying there alone in the pitch black. Everything in me was trying to scream but no noise came out of my mouth. Everything in me wanted to get out of that room and run until the sun came up, but I couldn't even twitch my toes. My body was dead, and I was trapped inside of it. The only thing I still had command over was my eyes. I remember scanning my dark room trying to find the source of this malevolent energy. I just wanted to see the thing that was going to kill me in my sleep.

If you've ever had the good fortune to jump out of an airplane and maybe experienced the potent cocktail of extreme terror and overwhelming adrenaline right as you lean out over the edge of the plane and begin to fall; imagine that sensation plus knowing that you don't have a parachute on. That is the closest frame of reference I could use to describe how I felt as I lay in bed that night.

I couldn't tell if I had been laying there terrified and paralyzed for hours or minutes. I didn't feel joined to this world during that experience. Time was a difficult concept, my human body felt about as connected to me as my wrinkled up pair of jeans laying on the floor next to my bed. I wasn't sure where I was. I mean, I knew I was in my bedroom but I wasn't sure where my bedroom was. It didn't feel like home.

I could hear the sound of my lungs gasping for air. I was scared to death of dying and with everything I had I just wanted to move my neck so I could lift my head off the pillow and look around. I wasn't alone. Something was in my room with me. Something was speaking to me. I couldn't de-cypher actual words, it was just  a fast non-sensical whisper. There was no 'melody' to the language. It was evil.

I had the distinct feeling that three 'things' were in my room. One was leaning over me, just to the right near my ear. The others seemed to be looming at the foot of my inflatable mattress. They were at least ten feet tall, much taller then my ceiling. In my peripheral vision, I 'saw' them. Or more accurately, I had a strong mental impression of them. Kind of like if your look at something and then close your eyes, you will 'see' an impression or outline of that thing.

 Were they were demons from hell? I thought so at the time but now, I'm not so sure. They were 'something else' though and at the very core of my existence, I was absolutely terrified by the 'something else's' and whatever was happening. Why me? Why had they chosen to visit me?

I remember that all of the sudden, my lungs filled with air and my body worked and felt like my own again.  I 'woke up'. I've have woken up twice from dreams before and since,  and its always strange but this was different. I blinked and all of the crazy seemingly supernatural energy was gone. But I didn't lose conscious at any point. Then I woke up again, and this time I got out of bed and left the room just to see if the rest of the world had somehow changed since my encounter. I was completely cognisant of what had just happened. I was completely drenched with sweat and I knew it was 'over' as I drank a glass of water in the kitchen and looked at my reflection in the window over the sink.

for info on 'sleep paralysis' : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis