Kenny Rogers Convention

It is November 2, 2010.  

The Monarch Hotel in Portland is buzzing with the political fervor of patriots and anti-establishment types. A moral fervor that can be difficult to discern from the lusty appetite of the Republicans, also in attendance.

It’s like a Kenny Rogers convention in here. My fifty-seven year old father, Ed, is camouflaged in a crowd of silver hair, blue jeans and LL. Bean.

Not surprisingly, after standing around for five minutes listening to people that we don’t know tell us things that we already know, it turns out my father and I are actually much more interested in the very real treys of finger foods filtering through the crowd then all the lofty Tea Party hype. 

”We the Band” is assaulting our eardrums with patriotic cliche set to overly amplified music. Their heart is in the right place it’s just everything else that falls short. 

By the time the crowd had perceptibly recoiled away from the bad music, over to the far side of the room, a speaker would take the stage  and introduce some local Tea Party celebrity who, in turn, would deliver the same shit you’ve probably heard a million times about our blessed country and it’s fondling fathers. The holy constitution and those political sinners who dare defile it. And we, the people, who must go out and proselytize the ignorant damned. 

Luckily most Americans are used to tolerating poorly organized political events. Case and Point: just about everything the government has ever tried to do since WWII. 

As you might imagine, apart from Red, White and Blue, not a whole lot of color in the room. But also absent are any misguided feelings of inequity or racism. The skin of our respective ancestors was worn with the pride and dignity afforded us by our parents and every man stands shoulder to shoulder bearing the burden of our countries failures and  still bound by life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

If I were being paid to write this, I would spend the time it takes to flesh out more details and reveal more insight but I’ve lost interest which means you probably have too.